Graduation Day

Tomorrow is Ian and Emily's kindergarten graduation! How can that possibly be? They will be performing a play - he will be a bunny and she will be a bird. No standard graduation garb here! LOL! I'll be sure to take pictures to share.

I can't help but think back to Rosemary's kindergarten graduation. I cried the entire day. Seriously. All. day. Her graduation was at night. I cried when I dropped her off at school. I cried all day at work. (I thought my colleagues were going to call in the white coats before the day was over!) I cried my way through the graduation program. I was a wreck! What was the deal with that?! I'm not saying I won't cry at all tomorrow. I am a complete wuss, you know. But I'm not anticipating a weepy day all day long.

Somehow, the thought of seeing my son with bunny ears and my daughter with orange bird leg tights and purple wings makes me want to giggle instead.

So, setting my alarm and checking it twice. Emily wants to make sure we don't sleep in tomorrow! :)

Next Step

After a productive (I think) interview with a church at the end of April, the time is finally here for me to preach for their PNC. The delay between the two events is due to the travel schedules of a couple of their committee members and the schedule of a "neutral pulpit" church. So this weekend it is.

Rosemary and I leave tomorrow for City by the Sea. (The little ones will be staying with grandparents.) We will be staying with a former colleague of mine who is now a new church development pastor there. He and his wife have offered us a night on the town Saturday night. :) Sunday morning I will preach in an island church that, I'm told, has a view of the ocean from inside the sanctuary. I'm hoping that will be more of a calming factor than a distraction. It would be more calming if I could hear the waves - love that sound! - but the view should be beautiful as well. After church I'll have lunch with the committee. Rosemary is old enough to go her own way for awhile. In fact, I rather imagine that she will enjoy it! I'm a little nervous about being at the transportation mercy of my exploring daughter and the committee, but I'm pretty sure I won't get stranded!

After that, who knows? That will be our time to play! Weather permitting, I'm sure we'll hit the beach awhile. Unless I tank Sunday morning, we'll probably explore the various communities/neighborhoods a little more seriously. Maybe meet up with other friends down there - maybe not. The kids are out of school on Monday, so we won't have to head back home until then.

I originally planned on preaching the lectionary text from Acts. The choosing of a leader to replace Judas seemed appropriate. (Then again, Matthias was never heard from again. Not a great precedent! LOL!) I carried some ideas around in my head for a couple of weeks, but none of them wanted to gel into any coherent form. I had already decided that whatever I planned to preach for the PNC, I would write a week ahead and preach at Small Church last Sunday. After struggling with the prescribed text, I finally gave myself permission to scrap it and write what I wanted to write. I am as satisfied with the effort as I think is possible, although I'm rarely satisfied as a whole with what I write. It was well received last Sunday. Hopefully it will be this Sunday as well. I still have some liturgy/prayers to write. I rarely write my prayers. I'm not sure why I am now. It's entirely possible that I will scrap the written prayer at the time anyway, but at least I'll have the choice.

I know that many of you are already quite busy on Sunday mornings, but if you happen to have a minute to spare, please say a prayer that all goes well and that discernment will be clear. I am so ready to leave the land of uncertainty. I've been here way too long. I'm ready to have a clear, definable goal to work toward again. I'm hoping that it's a good sign that while butterflies are present, the nervousness isn't nearly as strong as the excitement.

Countdown: One week later

1 more Circle meeting

2 1 more Bible study meetings (this one makes me sad)

11 10 more Sundays, although I will not be here for all of them; 7 6 is probably a more accurate number (maybe 5?)

2 more communions

1 more session meeting (Aw, gee! Can't I skip that one?!)

2 1 more ESL classes

1-3 more presbytery committee meetings, depending on whether or not I feel like going Finished!

1 more presbytery meeting

1 more community ministry board meeting

I Like This

HT: Sojourner's Verse and Voice for today:

"When you pray, move your feet." (African proverb)

Countdown

When I was in high school, I kept a 'countdown to the end of school' calendar taped inside my locker for the last month of school. When I was a high school teacher, I kept a 'countdown to the end of school' calendar taped inside my lesson plan book beginning about halfway through the last quarter. (Who knew that teachers counted even more fervently than students?!) For some reason I loved counting down, marking each day as it passed.

I find myself counting down again because, while I still don't know for sure exactly where I'm going, I do know that I'm moving on very soon. Here are some of the latest countdowns I've figured.

1 more Circle meeting

2 more Bible study meetings (this one makes me sad)

11 more Sundays, although I will not be here for all of them; 7 is probably a more accurate number

2 more communions

1 more session meeting (Aw, gee! Can't I skip that one?!)

2 more ESL classes

1-3 more presbytery committee meetings, depending on whether or not I feel like going

1 more presbytery meeting

1 more community ministry board meeting

I've already experienced a few "last things" that I'm aware of. The one that broke my heart the most was the last soccer game played on Monday. Rosemary will not play with these girls again. Ever. Do you know how sad that is? There are about five of these girls who have played soccer together every year for the past 10 years. For 7 of those years, they played both a fall and spring season. For the last 3 years they made history together, building the first ever girls' soccer program at their school. I wanted to cry after the game on Monday, but I held it in. Her soccer playing has been a huge part of my life too. In all her years of playing, I've only missed 2 games that I can remember: one when I was participating in the MS Challenge Walk and one when I attended the ceremony where my sister received a posthumous award. I came to a couple of games late or left a couple early, standing on the sidelines as long as possible in my preacher clothes on the same morning I had a wedding or funeral. One year I was assistant coach, an experience that changed me forever. Now it's impossible for me to sit through a soccer game. I have to stand and pace.

There will be other "lasts" that will be sad. There will be some that will be welcomed. Somehow naming them, outlining them, counting them down on a calendar helps me prepare myself for their arrival - and their passing.

Bittersweet, you know?

Chicken?

I will be preaching for a PNC on the 24th. I am excited to have the opportunity to preach in a church on the coast, located right on the ocean. I just learned that I will be able to see the ocean from the pulpit. I hope I don't get distracted and forget to preach!

I just got off the phone with the pastor at the island church. We discussed the flow of their worship and which portions of worship I would like to lead. He is allowing tremendous flexibility in leadership, which I appreciate. He offered the children's sermon, which I considered for a few moments and then passed on, for a few reasons. 1) I am some 10 years out of practice with children's sermons. 2) I won't have any previous interaction with these children (which could be a plus or minus). 3) Children's sermons are the most unpredictable moments of worship, which scares the pee out of me in this trial sermon setting. 4) That one responsibility in worship on that particular Sunday would probably cause more anxiety for me than everything else put together.

So I passed. Does that make me a chicken?

Counting Down

I'm in the nursery at ESL. My job with the ministry ends at the end of the month. As I look at the calendar, I see that I only have 2 more Sundays to come. We will not meet on Mother's Day. I will be away on the 24th. That leaves the 17th and the 31st. Bittersweet.